讓孩子乖乖去上學的十個方法

Not attending school for longer periods can have negative effects on the child's psychological, social and academic development. Post-doctoral researcher Trude Havik at the Norwegian Centre for Learning Environment and Behavioural Research in Education at the University of Stavanger has been studying the phenomenon of school refusal. She gives us ten ways to prevent it and help pupils back to school.

長期不上學會對孩子的心理、社交和學業發展造成不良影響。來自挪威斯塔萬格大學學習環境和行為研究中心的博士后研究員Trude Havik研究了“不想上學”現象，也稱“學?？謶职Y”。她給出了十個方法和建議來預防和補救。

1. Talk with your child

1.和孩子聊聊

Try to find out why he or she refuses to go to school. Has something happened? Ask if your child has any friends at school. Take your time and be specific when asking questions.

試著找出孩子不愿意去學校的原因。是不是發生了什么?問問你的孩子在學校有沒有朋友。聊的時候要有耐心，問得具體一點，多給孩子一些時間。

2. Contact the school as soon as possible

2.盡快和學校聯系

"Ask if they have noticed any change of behaviour in your child, both regarding school work and in social interchange," says Havik.

“問學校是否注意到孩子的行為有什么變化，不只是課業表現，還有社交互動方面，”Havik說。家長應該和學校聯系，共同確定孩子不愿意或者不能去上學的原因。

Parents should contact the school, and they should together find out why the child does not want to or is unable to attend school.

父母應該聯系學校，他們應該一起找出孩子為什么不想上學或不能上學的原因。

3. Make an agreement

3.作出約定

Complaints about stomach pain or headache are often among the first indications of school refusal. In case of such complaints, you should make an agreement that your child will attend school, but can return home if the pain gets worse during the day. The teacher must also be informed about the agreement.

孩子不想上學時經常會抱怨肚子疼或者頭疼。你可以跟孩子約定，先去上學，如果之后還是肚子疼或者頭疼再回家。老師也得知道這個約定。

"Going to school rarely worsens the child's condition. Making sure that children go to school is important because non-attendance leads to more of the same," says Havik.

“孩子上學后疼痛加劇的情況基本沒有。讓孩子去到學校是很重要的，因為有一就有二，一次不去，以后就會經常不去，”Havik說

"The longer a pupil is absent, the harder it is to come back."

“孩子缺勤時間越長，就越難重回校園。”

4. Exert mild pressure

4.溫和地施加壓力

Stay firm.

態度要堅定。

"However, parents can't be expected to force their children if the school does not follow up. This might apply if a child is subjected to bullying, feels unhappy or does not get the follow-up he or she needs.

“不過，如果學校不跟進的話，也很難期待家長催著孩子上學。”比如說孩子在學校受到霸凌、感到不開心或者沒有獲得需要的關心時。

If the teacher does not respond to your concerns, you should ask for a meeting with the headmaster," says Havik.

“如果老師對你的擔心置之不理的話，你可以和校長約見一下。”Havik說。

5. Don't make staying at home an attractive option

5.別讓孩子在家待得太開心

"If children are allowed to sleep in and, for example, bake together with their mothers, staying at home during school time might be too enjoyable," says Havik.

“要是孩子可以在家睡大覺，或者和媽媽一起烤蛋糕的話，不上學就有點太開心了。”Havik說。

"Make staying at home resemble a normal school day to make it less tempting. When the school day is over, you can enjoy yourselves.

“要讓在家的時候跟在學校差不多，不要那么悠閑。到了放學時間，再讓孩子放松玩。”

6. Take your child to the doctor

6.帶孩子去醫院

A child that complains about stomach pain or headache should undergo a medical examination. However, he or she should still try to attend school during the examination period," Havik believes.

“要是孩子說肚子疼或者頭疼，就帶他去醫院做個體檢。不過，體檢結果出來之前，還是得去學校。”Havik認為。

7. Business as usual

7.照常學習

If your child stays at home, it is important to get up at the usual time and prepare for a new day in the same way as when she or he goes to school. Get your child to do his or her school work, and try to follow the class' curriculum.

要是孩子不上學留在家里，和去學校的日子一樣按時起床并為一天做準備是很重要的。讓孩子做做回家作業，試著跟上學習進度。

8. Be positive about school

8.想想上學好的方面

When at home, focus on the positive aspects and what your child likes about school, teachers and classmates.

在家的時候，多談談學校里好的方面，包括孩子喜歡學校里的什么，哪些老師，哪些同學等等。

9. Good routines

9.維持良好日程

It is important that the same thing happens every night at bedtime and in the morning. Your child should go to bed at a regular time and get enough sleep. Children should not be allowed to spend a lot of time on their mobile phones or digital tablets before bedtime.

很重要的一件事是，保證每天的睡覺和起床時間一致。應該定時上床，保證睡眠時間。睡前不應該玩很久手機或者電腦。

10. Don't feel guilty

10。不要感到內疚

"When a child refuses to go to school, this is never down to one person or one simple reason. It is often a complex matter. Feelings of guilt will not make things better, neither for the adults nor the child," says Havik.

“當孩子不想上學時，一般都不只因為一個人或一件事。大多時候，原因都很復雜。不管是孩子還是家長，感到愧疚都沒什么好處。”Havik說。

Parents of children who refuse to go to school need to know that they are not the only ones in this situation.

這些孩子和家長都應該知道，很多人都面臨著同樣的問題。

"They also need to know that early help, working together with the school and being open about difficult issues, including conditions at home, is important for getting the child back to school as soon as possible."

“他們還應該知道，早期干預、和學校合作、坦誠討論嚴肅話題，還有保證在家時的狀態，都是讓孩子盡早返校的好辦法。”